I recall the day I got a letter from the NHS stating that my son, who has grown from being six years old to 16, had been diagnosed with something.
overweight
I was stunned and genuinely furious. Although I had noticed some information at school indicating they were included in a governmental study involving weighing participants, I ended up getting sidetracked with my job and never got around to opting out.
My son, Jack*, didn’t say anything about it beforehand, which made it quite unexpected when we received a letter a couple of weeks later. The letter stated that according to his BMI (body mass index—a measurement of body fat derived from height and weight data), he had been categorized as being overweight.
I recall thinking, “How could they judge? He is perfect exactly as he is.” Born weighing an impressive 9lbs (which is above the typical 7lbs), and consistently staying at the 98th highest percentile according to the growth charts used by the NHS since his birth for tracking weight, I figured this was simply following that pattern.
However, the information that a child’s weight at six years old can predict their chances of becoming obese later in life is quite alarming. A study conducted by the University Medical Center Rotterdam, examining data from 3,528 children in the Netherlands, revealed that each additional unit in BMI during early childhood nearly tripled the probability of these kids being overweight or obese by the time they turn 18.
And the reality is that my currently teenaged son is
quite chubby
Upon further consideration, maybe I should have paid more attention to that letter. It’s not surprising that he is particularly touchy regarding his body weight these days. He often makes light of his size and mentions plans to improve fitness and cut out crisp consumption post-GCSE exams. In my opinion, part of the responsibility lies with his educational institution—how can they possibly offer such unhealthy fare like sausage rolls, sodas, and fries in their cafeteria? There are times when he gets into routines involving evening jogs or nightly sessions on the rowing machine at the gym, yet these efforts seem fleeting.
I’m highly conscious about avoiding fat-shaming or making him feel self-conscious about his physique. This seems to be equally significant an issue for boys nowadays as it is for girls. It’s quite a complicated subject, and I’m striving to figure out the best way to handle it.
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However, this recent survey has made me yearn for having been stricter and more rigorous earlier.
about his diet
When he was young, particularly, we strongly urged him to consume more veggies. To comfort myself, I often think about how, being an ’80s kid, I too enjoyed quite a bit of packaged food (there was nothing better than indulging in a Fray Bentos pie). Despite this, I’ve grown up to become someone who pays close attention to their diet. I genuinely wish for my son to follow a similar path towards healthier living.
I am aware that the science behind BMI may not be entirely trustworthy. To begin with, it’s an outdated and simplistic method for gauging body size without distinguishing between muscle and fat.
Jack has always been passionate about eating, and “more” was among his earliest phrases. However, since he was extremely energetic—always dashing around—and later on, starting at roughly six years old, spent most of his time playing soccer—I didn’t feel overly concerned. I assumed one of his growth spurts would take care of the issue.
When my son was young, I usually cooked meals from scratch most evenings using an outdated, stained copy of an Annabel Karmel cookbook for guidance. However, once his younger brother arrived, I occasionally—or perhaps more frequently—added frozen fish sticks and French fries to our menu. If they came with some peas and corn, I didn’t worry much about it.
Indeed, he may have been rather sturdy, yet I wouldn’t describe him as chubby. The very thought of making him feel self-aware regarding his bodyweight never crossed my mind. Every single day, we ventured out for walks or headed to the park where, so long as he burned through his energy, I didn’t worry much about it.
As a child, I was never as slender as my elder sister despite us eating identical meals at home, and this often made me feel insecure. I recall our mother noting how my weight would fluctuate while my sister maintained the same figure. Though her comment wasn’t significant, it stuck with me over time. That’s precisely why I’m hesitant to say anything about Jack’s weight.
Just like my son, I have always done so.
enjoyed my food
And he views it as one of the major joys in life. However, Jack still hasn’t moved past his preference for bland-colored meals, unlike me, who had done so by the time I reached his age. While his sibling, who has always stayed trim, adds plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables to their diet, Jack flat-out rejects them. He isn’t difficult when it comes to eating fruit and enjoys smoothies, but considering how sugary these drinks can be, I’m uncertain about the real advantage he gains from this habit.
As he has become a teenager, policing his diet has become extremely challenging. Although I don’t purchase unhealthy snacks, Jack sneaks off to the store after school to fill up on them instead, keeping everything hidden away in his backpack. Whenever there’s an abundance of junk food at parties or gatherings, Jack immediately gravitates towards it. It’s common knowledge that many teens behave similarly; however, they usually stay slim despite their choices. Unfortunately for Jack, this hasn’t been the case. Many of his peers focus heavily on staying fit due to participating in physical education courses like GCSE and A-Level, yet Jack appears indifferent about such matters.
I can only pray that eventually he’ll come to understand the importance of adopting a nutritious diet alongside his workouts, as relying solely on exercises won’t offset the harm caused by his preference for junk food. For now, my role is limited to gently nudging him toward better choices; however, ultimately, this decision rests with him alone.
*
name has been changed